"Melissa?"
"Yes, James."
Melissa wore a green dress.
"Lovely dress."
"Oh! Thank you."
She paused.
"Is there something you'd like to say to me?" James asked.
"Um, I don't know yet," she said, nervously.
James wore a blue polo shirt with blue jeans.
"I mean, yes. Your shirt is a lovely shade of blue and those jeans are absolutely perfect for you."
"Thank you very much. I got them on sale just the other day," James said.
In fact, James did not get those clothes on sale-- he paid full price.
"I mean, I paid full price. I certainly wish they were on sale for the money I spent on them," he said, annoyed.
He spent $120 total.
"What? Can I even afford that?"
He could.
"Oh, good," James smiled.
"Well, uh, it all looks great on you," Melissa said, lying through her teeth.
"No, I really think you look sharp," she retorted, but still lying.
"..."
"..."
The two were hungry so they decided to order a meal at the restaurant they were sitting in. Melissa's stomach grumbled.
"Boy, am I hungry," she said.
"Yeah, me... too?" James asked.
James wasn't hungry.
"Oh. I guess I'll just order a beer then," he said.
This particular placed didn't serve alcohol, so James would just have to order a soda. Or water.
"Well, water will have to do, then."
The waiter approached the couple and asked for their order.
"Hello and welcome to...," he paused.
There was a long silence between the three of them.
Denny's.
"Denny's. Welcome to Denny's," the waiter said. "We have a wonderful menu full of, um, whatever it is that you want to eat today. Which would be?"
"I'll have the steak?" Melissa said.
But they were out.
"No. The chicken, please," she said.
"I'm not eating," James said.
The waiter bowed and left the two alone. James had been pinning over Melissa for months and now was his chance to express his true feelings to her.
"Melissa. You are a really great person and I have really strong feelings for you," James said.
"James. You are so swee--"
Melissa hated James.
"Asshole! You are just the absolute worst," she yelled. "This date is over!" Melissa got up from the table to leave, but the date wasn't over so she sat back down.
"When I say it's over! Which is later on," she said.
The waiter returned with the chicken and set it on the table.
"Here you are--"
He left without saying a word.
"Oh, goodbye," he said, apparently not able to follow instructions.
Melissa ate her chicken quickly because of how hungry she was. Food was all over her face and some even landed on the table.
"Geez, Melissa, slow down," James said.
"I really want to, but..." she paused, cramming more food into her mouth. What a pig.
James no longer loved her after seeing her pig out like a little fatty.
"Melissa," he said, standing up from the table. "This date is over and I don't love you anymore."
Fatty.
"Um, fatty."
James left in a huff.
"Oh, uh, bye. Sorry! It was nice meeting you, Melissa," he said.
But it wasn't nice. In fact he pledged to never see her again.
Melissa sat there, bloated and fat and alone.
"oh come on," she said.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sunshine
It'd been raining solid for the last several days. The once dry, cracked ground was now swollen with water. I sat on my porch just watching the ebb and flow of the rain, dictated by the wind. Despite the rain and the wind, though, it was nice outside. Wasn't too hot, wasn't too cold. The kind of day you'd have right when spring started, or the onset of autumn. I'm not a coffee kind of person, but I keep some in the cabinet for days like this because it just... feels right.
"Enjoying the view?" Rachel asked. She smiled and sat across me on the porch. She held up a cup, " grabbed some coffee. Hope that's cool."
"Yeah," I said.
"So, I didn't see you at work today and Jeff said you didn't call in."
"Yeah," I said.
She looked at me blankly, waiting for a better answer, or more of an answer-- I don't know.
"That's it? Just 'yeah'," she said.
"Yeah," I thought. "No," I said.
She gently set her cup down on the ledge and pursed her lips in that way everyone does before they get mad. "What the fuck? Everyone thought you were hurt-- or worse! And all you can say is 'yeah' and 'no'? What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," I said. I looked at her calmly and meant it. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
The wind picked up.
"I think I might move my car into the garage. It's getting crazy out there," I said.
"What?"
"Look, Rachel. Sometimes there isn't something wrong. Sometimes there isn't a reason, and sometimes we do things just because we haven't before, or because we want to-- or don't want to. I didn't go into work today for no other reason than I didn't go into work today," I said.
"Bullshit," she smirked. She grabbed her coffee and took another sip, her mind trying to work me out.
The rain picked up.
"I love you," I said.
It was like she was struck by lightning. Or hit by a car. Or paralyzed through some other violent means that escapes me.
"What?"
I could hear her heart beating from her, or was that my own? "I said I love you."
"Why did you say that?"
"Because sometimes we do things just because we haven't before, or because we want to--"
"Or don't want to..." she said.
The rain stopped.
"Enjoying the view?" Rachel asked. She smiled and sat across me on the porch. She held up a cup, " grabbed some coffee. Hope that's cool."
"Yeah," I said.
"So, I didn't see you at work today and Jeff said you didn't call in."
"Yeah," I said.
She looked at me blankly, waiting for a better answer, or more of an answer-- I don't know.
"That's it? Just 'yeah'," she said.
"Yeah," I thought. "No," I said.
She gently set her cup down on the ledge and pursed her lips in that way everyone does before they get mad. "What the fuck? Everyone thought you were hurt-- or worse! And all you can say is 'yeah' and 'no'? What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," I said. I looked at her calmly and meant it. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
The wind picked up.
"I think I might move my car into the garage. It's getting crazy out there," I said.
"What?"
"Look, Rachel. Sometimes there isn't something wrong. Sometimes there isn't a reason, and sometimes we do things just because we haven't before, or because we want to-- or don't want to. I didn't go into work today for no other reason than I didn't go into work today," I said.
"Bullshit," she smirked. She grabbed her coffee and took another sip, her mind trying to work me out.
The rain picked up.
"I love you," I said.
It was like she was struck by lightning. Or hit by a car. Or paralyzed through some other violent means that escapes me.
"What?"
I could hear her heart beating from her, or was that my own? "I said I love you."
"Why did you say that?"
"Because sometimes we do things just because we haven't before, or because we want to--"
"Or don't want to..." she said.
The rain stopped.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Monkey
"Mmm," The Monkey thought. "This is one good piece of fruit."
"Margaret? Honey?"
"Yes, dear?" Margaret said from the kitchen. She appeared in the doorway dressed simply in a red apron. She beamed at Monkey. "You're so cute."
"What?" Monkey said, a little bit of fruit hanging from his chin. "What'd I do?"
Margaret approached Monkey, wiped his face clean with a dish rag she had tucked in her apron, and kissed him gently on the check. "You always get food on your face."
"Oh! Sorry," Monkey said.
"What did you need?"
"Where did you get this fruit? It's delicious!"
"From the market, like always," Margaret said. She'd already started back into the kitchen to start on dinner. "I was thinking of doing chicken tonight? Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that sounds great," He said. " What time will it be ready?"
"I was thinking... 8 o'clock?"
"Perfect. Just in time for The Big Bang Theory," He said, excitedly.
Margaret peeked her head from around the corner. "Why do you like that show?"
"What do you mean?"
"I just don't get it. It's nothing but stereotypes and there's a laugh track."
"I don't know. After a hard day at work I guess I just want something mindless, you know?"
"I suppose," Margaret said. "Just seems like all TV is trash nowaways. You should read a book instead."
Monkey shrugged and finished his fruit. After cleaning up he made his way into the living room. Margaret's cell phone beeped, letting her know she received a text message.
"Hey, you got a--" Monkey stopped when he saw the screen. "Mitch? I didn't know they still talked."
Margaret peeked her out from the kitchen again, "You say something?"
"Oh, no, honey. Nothing," Monkey said. He smiled, she smiled and she resumed preparing dinner.
"This doesn't make sense, "Monkey thought. "She hasn't talked to him in years. Why would he..." His blood ran cold.
Mitch was an old flame and even after their relationship ended he never stopped pursuing Margaret. There was even a time when he thought they were having an affair. "Shake it off. This is stupid," his brain told him. But his finger's were already swiping the screen, his gut telling him something different.
"Margie, are we still on for tonight? I haven't heard from you in a couple of days," The text read.
His fingers were already responding, his brain screaming in protest. "Of course.... where?" He texted back.
"Margaret. Bill from the office just called me and said I left some things up there. I'm going to go grab it, okay? Shouldn't take more than an hour," he called out.
"Oh okay. Well, be back by 8, okay?"
Monkey walked into the kitchen and saw his wife giving Mitch a blowjob. She threw her head back, staring at Monkey. "He's so much bigger than you, "she laughed.
"Honey?" Are you okay?" Margaret said. He snapped back to reality, shook his head and smiled. "I'm fine."
"Be careful, okay? I love you," she said.
"I love you too." He said, blankly.
He smiled and walked back into the living room to gather his things. He glanced back at her phone and noticed there was another text. Monkey stared at the screen for a moment before taking note of Mitch's location.
"I can't wait to see you!" the text read.
Monkey deleted the texts from Margaret's phone and grabbed his keys.
"Can't wait to see you, either."
"Margaret? Honey?"
"Yes, dear?" Margaret said from the kitchen. She appeared in the doorway dressed simply in a red apron. She beamed at Monkey. "You're so cute."
"What?" Monkey said, a little bit of fruit hanging from his chin. "What'd I do?"
Margaret approached Monkey, wiped his face clean with a dish rag she had tucked in her apron, and kissed him gently on the check. "You always get food on your face."
"Oh! Sorry," Monkey said.
"What did you need?"
"Where did you get this fruit? It's delicious!"
"From the market, like always," Margaret said. She'd already started back into the kitchen to start on dinner. "I was thinking of doing chicken tonight? Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that sounds great," He said. " What time will it be ready?"
"I was thinking... 8 o'clock?"
"Perfect. Just in time for The Big Bang Theory," He said, excitedly.
Margaret peeked her head from around the corner. "Why do you like that show?"
"What do you mean?"
"I just don't get it. It's nothing but stereotypes and there's a laugh track."
"I don't know. After a hard day at work I guess I just want something mindless, you know?"
"I suppose," Margaret said. "Just seems like all TV is trash nowaways. You should read a book instead."
Monkey shrugged and finished his fruit. After cleaning up he made his way into the living room. Margaret's cell phone beeped, letting her know she received a text message.
"Hey, you got a--" Monkey stopped when he saw the screen. "Mitch? I didn't know they still talked."
Margaret peeked her out from the kitchen again, "You say something?"
"Oh, no, honey. Nothing," Monkey said. He smiled, she smiled and she resumed preparing dinner.
"This doesn't make sense, "Monkey thought. "She hasn't talked to him in years. Why would he..." His blood ran cold.
Mitch was an old flame and even after their relationship ended he never stopped pursuing Margaret. There was even a time when he thought they were having an affair. "Shake it off. This is stupid," his brain told him. But his finger's were already swiping the screen, his gut telling him something different.
"Margie, are we still on for tonight? I haven't heard from you in a couple of days," The text read.
His fingers were already responding, his brain screaming in protest. "Of course.... where?" He texted back.
"Margaret. Bill from the office just called me and said I left some things up there. I'm going to go grab it, okay? Shouldn't take more than an hour," he called out.
"Oh okay. Well, be back by 8, okay?"
Monkey walked into the kitchen and saw his wife giving Mitch a blowjob. She threw her head back, staring at Monkey. "He's so much bigger than you, "she laughed.
"Honey?" Are you okay?" Margaret said. He snapped back to reality, shook his head and smiled. "I'm fine."
"Be careful, okay? I love you," she said.
"I love you too." He said, blankly.
He smiled and walked back into the living room to gather his things. He glanced back at her phone and noticed there was another text. Monkey stared at the screen for a moment before taking note of Mitch's location.
"I can't wait to see you!" the text read.
Monkey deleted the texts from Margaret's phone and grabbed his keys.
"Can't wait to see you, either."
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